This is a request from a young woman to a Wise Old Woman, specifically in this case, Aunt Jeanne.
Aunt Jeanne, am I right in thinking that you love soft-boiled eggs? I think I remember this about you. Well, I love them too but don't have any clue how to make them right. I guess at it every time and they always turn out underdone or overdone.
What is the secret to the perfect soft-boiled egg??
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
We LOVE discussing stuff but...
This is not going to be worthy of being the first post on this site but since this just happened this morning and I don't want to forget I am going to forge ahead...
In my closest relationship, one of us has great listening skills and the other is very quick at verbal skills (not great but just quick!). One of us came from a family where there was much heated quick discussion and you had to jump in quickly if you wanted to say anything. There may have been a pause in the conversation one time in 1968... Believe it or not, interrupting (to that person) means you are listening; if someone isn't paying attention or their mind is wandering there might be a pause - bad sign. One of us is more introverted and needs time to get their thoughts out... they need to be allowed pauses without interruption. When they are interrupted they feel hurt and that they aren't being listened to and their ideas aren't being validated. So the idea was suggested this morning (after watching a movie where the lead character would mirror back what the person said to the other's satisfaction before responding) that we should try that. I am excited about this! I think it sounds like fun and I very much want to improve my listening skills. As I am writing this I am thinking I should delete this because "duh, this is what all the marriage books say" and I guess I've heard this a million times before but for some reason it sounded so fresh to me and exciting! I'll let you know how it goes.
One problem I foresee is if the mirroring is never accepted - - "No that's not what I mean" when it's exactly what the person just said!!! (Ha! I've bet you've all been there!!) Any suggestions? Has this worked continuously for anybody out there?
In my closest relationship, one of us has great listening skills and the other is very quick at verbal skills (not great but just quick!). One of us came from a family where there was much heated quick discussion and you had to jump in quickly if you wanted to say anything. There may have been a pause in the conversation one time in 1968... Believe it or not, interrupting (to that person) means you are listening; if someone isn't paying attention or their mind is wandering there might be a pause - bad sign. One of us is more introverted and needs time to get their thoughts out... they need to be allowed pauses without interruption. When they are interrupted they feel hurt and that they aren't being listened to and their ideas aren't being validated. So the idea was suggested this morning (after watching a movie where the lead character would mirror back what the person said to the other's satisfaction before responding) that we should try that. I am excited about this! I think it sounds like fun and I very much want to improve my listening skills. As I am writing this I am thinking I should delete this because "duh, this is what all the marriage books say" and I guess I've heard this a million times before but for some reason it sounded so fresh to me and exciting! I'll let you know how it goes.
One problem I foresee is if the mirroring is never accepted - - "No that's not what I mean" when it's exactly what the person just said!!! (Ha! I've bet you've all been there!!) Any suggestions? Has this worked continuously for anybody out there?
Friday, February 22, 2008
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