From Mom-Mom

On Tue, Nov 8, 2011 at 9:10 AM, Mary Nelle wrote:

Thank you, Julie. for the teacup parable. Simple but profound. It started me thinking about the way God has taught me different things over the years as he was molding and shaping, and polishing. (Still is, actually!)

1. How at 18 our lovely, self-satisfied, safe, comfortable family was shattered when my brother died in WW 2 in June, and the following November, my Dad. I remember how I clung to the Psalms, and verses like, "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord." (His accident was stepping back on a loose board.) I was finding out the miraculous, living, power of the Scripture.

2. Learning to get along with a husband who was so totally different from me. Having to learn I couldn't have it my way all the time, and to try to live to make another person happy, not me, me, me.

3. Shelleys's birth with an abnormal hand, and finding out God could be wonderfully sufficient for her, and in the process bless us all.

4. Christopher's diagnosis of autism, and then Jeanne's breast cancer. Oh my, God was doing so much shaping and molding in so many ways, (too many lessons to list), but finding God make His presence so real and so loving you could almost touch Him--how could your faith and confidence in Him not grow?

5. Shelleys' divorce----again so much pain, but so amazing how God once again was sufficient, and powerful to work it out for good in so many ways, with a minimum of "scars" --- "beauty for ashes" instead. Makes us pray hard for Mary--we know what God can do!

6. Then the more recent "shaping and molding"--Ward's illness and then my coping alone --- Oh my, the faithfulness of God is overwhelming-- defies finding the language for it all, as David says, "Some things are too lofty for me" ---"How wonderful are your thoughts and your ways past finding out"..

Jeanne's RA diagnosis, Of course, mine and Shelley's big C in one year---

It is hard to analyze just what God was doing in each of these cases, and how he is still working on that teacup-- but it was good to anticipate that He is making something beautiful out of that pitiful lump of clay, as only He can. I surely can't, no matter how hard I may try.

Love, MOM

I'm a Little Tea cup

I'm a Little Tea Cup

Love this story or not, you will not be able to have tea in a tea cup again without thinking of this.

There was a couple who took a trip to England to shop in a beautiful antique store to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. They both liked antiques and pottery, and especially teacups.

Spotting an exceptional cup, they asked "May we see that? We've never seen a cup quite so beautiful."

As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke, "You don't understand. I have not always been a teacup. There was a time when I was just a lump of red clay. My master took me and rolled me, pounded and patted me over and over and I yelled out, "Don't do that. I don't like it! Let me alone," but he only smiled, and gently said, "Not yet."

Then WHAM! I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly I was made to suit himself and then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door. "Help! Get me out of here!" I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head from side to side, "Not yet."

When I thought I couldn't bear it another minute, the door opened. He carefully took me out and put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. Oh, that felt so good! "Ah, this is much better," I thought.

But, after I cooled he picked me up and he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. "Oh, please, stop it, stop, I cried." He only shook his head and said, "Not yet."

Then suddenly he puts me back in to the oven. Only it was not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I just knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. I was convinced I would never make it. I was ready to give up. Just then the door opened and he took me out and again placed me on the shelf, where I cooled and waited and waited, wondering, "What's he going to do to me next?"

An hour later he handed me a mirror and said, "Look at yourself." And I did. I said, "That's not me. That couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful!"

Quietly he spoke: "I want you to remember. I know it hurt to be rolled and pounded and patted, but had I just left you alone, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened. You would not have had any color in your life. If I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't have survived for long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. Now you are what I had in mind
when I first began with you."

The moral of this story is this: God knows what He's doing for each of us. He is the potter, and we are His clay. He will mold us and make us and expose us to just enough pressures of just the right kinds that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing and perfect.

So when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and patted and pushed almost beyond endurance; when your world seems to be spinning out of control; when you feel like you are in a fiery furnace of trials; when life seems to "stink", try this.

Brew a cup of your favorite tea in your prettiest tea cup, sit down and think on this story and then, have a little talk with the Potter.

God Bless You!

Isaiah 54

For some reason I'm feeling open right now, and maybe this is hasty, I thought I would share something. I really don't like when the Bible is taken out of context, so I'm hoping I'm not doing this in this instance; so tell me if you think I'm wrong here.

I don't know if many of you follow my and Dave's blog, but we were recently told (after trying unsuccessfully to conceive and after some tests) that it will be unlikely that we will be able to have a child without fertility treatments. We have been quite shaken up about this and have been praying for a miracle as we're quite nervous about the "rabbit hole" of fertility treatments. (If you'd like more specific information we're open to sharing and/or we can send you an invitation to our blog.)

Anyway, the invitation here was to share what God is doing in/sharing with us. So needless to say, I have been quite discouraged (and lots of other emotions) lately. But, on Thursday, I was doing my regular Bible Study and had to look up Isaiah 54:11. It was a good verse, but I decided I wanted to get the context, so I decided to read all of Isaiah 54. And this is what I found:

Isaiah 54

¹ “Sing, barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,”
says the LORD.
² “Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.
³ For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities.

⁴ “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
⁵ For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.
⁶ The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected,” says your God.
⁷ “For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
⁸ In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,”
says the LORD your Redeemer.

⁹ “To me this is like the days of Noah,
when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
never to rebuke you again.
¹⁰ Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

¹¹ “Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise,
your foundations with lapis lazuli.
¹² I will make your battlements of rubies,
your gates of sparkling jewels,
and all your walls of precious stones.
¹³ All your children will be taught by the LORD,
and great will be their peace.
¹⁴ In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
it will not come near you.
¹⁵ If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
whoever attacks you will surrender to you.

¹⁶ “See, it is I who created the blacksmith
who fans the coals into flame
and forges a weapon fit for its work.
And it is I who have created the destroyer to wreak havoc;
¹⁷ no weapon forged against you will prevail,
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
and this is their vindication from me,”
declares the LORD.

Anyway, I obviously burst into tears when I read this. And when I shared it with Dave the next morning he was really moved and cried too. We know this was written for Israel, so I don't want to claim something that "isn't ours", and we don't know what this means for us exactly, but it was such an encouragement to us nonetheless. I know that you all are a praying bunch, so prayers for a miracle and also for wisdom would mean the world to us.

My journaling from devotions on fear this morning (sorry I'm not taking the time to edit it properly) - maybe it will help others struggling with fears.

I read some great verses about fear this morning and wrote them out so I could remember them... I'll share them with you.

I was reading from the Face to Face devotional book.

Ro. 10:11 "Whoever trusts in Him will not be put to shame."

in the Amplified: "The Scripture says, No man who believes in Him (who adhers to, relies on, or trusts in Him) will ever be put to shame or disappointed."

I thought: the key is that we are adhering to, relying on, and trusting in Him, totally - and not trusting in the things of the world - or the things of man - beauty, brains, riches, approval... We have to denounce those things. Yesterday I went thru the helpful technique of saying out loud when attacked by fear (approval of men) "I choose you, Jesus, over these things. (even tho I didn't feel it in my heart yet. I went ahead and said it and then God began to free me from those old fears and that old bondage) You are my rock and my salvation. You are all I need. Those things I feel I cannot survive without will not save me. It's a lie from the pit!"

1 Chron. 28:20

"Fear not, be not dismayed, for the Lord my God is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord."

May I act in the fear of you, Lord, faithfully and with a loyal heart. taken from 2 Chron. 19:9 (loyal: not putting other cares and worries first, caring what men might think - that is disloyal to our love for God)

from Mark 8:33 (pg. 56) sometimes these are not direct quotes so I looked up the passages -

May I be more concerned about the things of God than the things of men. The actual verse said:

"Get behind me Satan! For you do not have a mind intent on promoting what God wills but what pleases men (you are not on God's side but that of men)." (Amplified)

The above Mark passage reminds me that when I put those worldly cares above wanting what God wants I am actually not on His side anymore, I am fighting against Him - reminds me of the verse about how we can't serve 2 Gods at the same time.

Luke 12: 28-31 (Amp) "But if God so clothes the grass in the field which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith? And you, do not seek (by meditating and reasoning to inquire into) what you are to eat and what you are to drink; nor be of anxious (troubled) mind (unsettled, excited, worried, and in suspense); for all the pagan world is (greedily) seeking these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Only aim at and strive for and seek His kingdom, and all these things shall be supplied to you also. Do not be seized with alarm and struck with fear, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom! Sell what you possess and give donations to the poor; provide yourselves with purses and handbags that do not grow old, an unfailing and inexhaustible treasure in the heavens, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Keep your lamps burning and your loins girded!"

Here are some promises that were listed (when I renounce the cares of this world and put Him first in my heart and affections):

To fear You (above all), Lord, that is wisdom,

And to depart from evil is understanding. (Job 28:28) (It is "evil" when I put the cares of the world above trusting what He says and believing He is enough for me)

Who are those that fear You? You will instruct them in the way they should choose. Ps. 25:12

Blessed is everyone who fears You, Lord,

and walks in Your ways. (I won't walk in His ways unless I put Him first above other all my other fears, renounce them!)

You take pleasure in those who fear You, O Lord,

Who put their hope in Your unfailing love. Ps. 147:11

Jesus promises, "I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you...whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you... ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full." (Jn 16: 24)

No one can take this joy from me and that frees me from fear!! Hallelujah!

Good News or Bad News?

An encouraging event happened while I was in Bloomington helping Mom move. Mom found an old note sent to her by my Bible Study Fellowship teaching leader in Sioux Falls (back in the late 80's/early 90's) telling Mom how I had done a sweet thing for her and she wanted Mom to know how much she appreciated me. She knew Mom would enjoy hearing this since she was a fellow BSF teaching leader. Before they read it out loud to me, Jeanne & Shelley ran into the kitchen (out of my hearing) and figured out what they thought I would say. When Mom read the note I did not at all respond as they expected (based on past experience) and they were surprised. They were sure I would say "Well, she sure didn't know me!!!" But instead I took the compliment and smiled and said something to the effect that it was sweet of her to write the note and that I couldn't quite remember the situation. My response to Jeanne and Shelley's surprise was that God has recently done a lot of healing in my life. It was a very revealing and extremely encouraging sign to me that they saw a big difference in my attitude and response. I can't remember exactly how I explained what God had been teaching me but I remember thinking afterward that I said it all wrong and I would like to clear that up. It seems like I said something about not being as bad as I used to think I was when actually it is the opposite! - - accepting my "badness" is what has freed me! I would like to attempt to explain how God has been freeing me up in this area...
We just stumbled on a wonderful article in Christianity Today (Dec.) by Tim Keller, "The Advent of Humility" and I want to quote some of it because he explains it better than I can.
"Humility is a byproduct of belief in the gospel of Christ. In the gospel, we have a confidence not based in our performance but in the love of God in Christ. This frees us from having to always be looking at ourselves. Our sin was so great, nothing less than the death of Jesus could save us. He had to die for us. But his love for us was so great, Jesus was glad to die for us...
There are two basic narrative identities at work among professing Christians. The first is what I will call the moral-performance narrative identity. These are people who in their heart of hearts say, 'I obey; therefore I am accepted by God.' The second is what I will call the grace narrative identity. 'This basic operating principle is, 'I am accepted by God through Christ; therefore I obey.'
People living their lives on the basis of these 2 different principles may superficially look alike. They may sit right beside one another in the church pew, both striving to obey the law of God, to pray, to give money generously, to be good family members. But they are doing so out of radically different motives, in radically different spirits, resulting in radically different personal characters. When persons living in the moral-performance narrative are criticized, they are furious or devastated because they cannot tolerate threats to their self-image of being a 'good person'. But in the gospel our identity in not built on such an image, and we have the emotional ballast to handle criticism without attacking back. When people living in the moral-performance narrative base their self-worth on being hard working or theologically sound, then they must look down on those who they perceive to be lazy or theologically weak. But those who understand the gospel cannot possibly look down on anyone, since they were saved by sheer grace not by their perfect doctrine or strong moral character."

This is the same liberating message Laddie and I learned from reading TrueFaced by John Lynch. I believed in grace for everyone else but realized I was still trying to earn God's favor and didn't really believe He loved me just like I was. I knew God "loved me" intellectually but in my heart I wasn't accepting His unconditional love for me personally. This kind of unconditional love goes against human nature and it takes supernatural understanding. In TrueFaced we were struck with this quote, "Nothing I can ever do will make Him love me more and nothing I can ever do will make Him love me less." We both realized that we didn't believe that was true for ourselves (we believed it for other people). We now realize we could NOT love God and others until we truly believed that He loves us totally and unconditionally (1Jn.4:19 "We love because He first loved us") Now we are beginning to understand grace! Accepting grace for ourselves filled us with love and gratefulness to God. Now we can love God and obey out of love for Him rather than obeying to gain favor or obeying out of fear.
The gospel is not "good news" if we are living in the moral-performance narrative. It's a heavy, heavy weight to carry - all the guilt and self-loathing because you can't measure up to what you think you should be. I am finally being freed of living under the fear of the devastation criticism used to bring. The fear of finding out I was a "bad person" or accidentally exposing myself as a "bad person" was a prison of sorts. When I could finally say and believe "Yes, I am a bad person (and so is everyone else!)" I was freed and I could accept my failures and be transparent and less self-protected around others. I don't have to live in bondage to caring about what others think of me anymore. (In the situation above, having to look humble!) I am learning to accept myself with all my imperfections and trust God to help me overcome them. I don't have to do it myself.
Another quote from the article,
Lewis speaks of 'the unsmiling concentration upon Self, which is the mark of hell.' The gospel, however, creates a gentle sense of irony. We find a lot to laugh at, starting with our own weaknesses. They don't threaten us anymore because our ultimate worth is not based on our record or performance. Martin Luther had the basic insight that moralism is the default mode of the human heart. Even Christians who believe the gospel of grace on one level can continue to operate as if they have been saved by their works. In 'The Great Sin' in Mere Christianity, Lewis writes, 'If we find that our religious life is making us feel that we are good -- above all, that we are better than someone else -- I think we may be sure that we are being acted on, not by God, but by the Devil.' Keller goes on to say that this kind of humility is missing in the church today. -a great article! Please read it.
Is the gospel really good news in my life or a cruel task master- bad news? Ask God to reveal how much He loves us individually and to help us truly believe the "good" news applies to me. We must allow God to define us (we are loved, chosen, adopted, redeemed, forgiven -Eph.1) and not others' opinions and our own expectations of ourselves! Then we begin to allow Him to help us overcome our sins with His help and quit trying to do it on our own which is doomed to fail.

Family prayer for 2008

That God would give us discernment to identify our false concepts of Him and to truly see and know Him as He is.
And in knowing Him better we would have a greater appreciation of His love for us and a practical ability
to show love to those around us.
May God have mercy on us.

Laddie asked for us to pray this for our family in 2008 and I cannot believe how He has been answering this for us in miraculous ways! I would invite our extended family to pray this for all of us this year!

A Theme from the Past
Mom and Shelley recently went through boxes of old papers and Mom sent me a packet. I found this theme written for my English class when I was 16. I will be interested in your comments.

A Family I have known--Well
By Jeanne Schaap
December, 1962

We had been sitting in our places at the dining room table for several minutes and still only four faces were present. Daddy, who had called Julie loudly several times, had a look of impatience and sternness on his still young face. He is a handsome man in his late thirties with a slight graying about his temples which, my conscience told me, was from worrying about his teenage daughter. You see, he has never had one before, and I am sure it is quite a trying experience for him. But he and Mother are a great comfort for each other when the going gets rough. Mother is a very attractive woman and still looking in her twenties. I often remind her of how boys take us for two teenage girls when we're out for a drive. This seems to bring delight to her eyes and a new bounce to her steps. Other young people may label their parents "fossils" or "the old man and the old lady," but not me; they are wonderful companions--two of the most fun and understanding people I have ever known.
Even a family as close-knit and loving as ours has times when everyone seems to be at one another's throats; when usually resembling a song with all the notes in harmony, it suddenly becomes a group of notes horribly out of tune and unpleasant to the ear. I knew, as we were all sitting there and waiting for Julie, that this meal might have this unfortunate atmosphere.
Julie finally appeared like a small black storm could on an already gray sky. She whined and pouted about kicking her toe on the bathroom door. Julie was eight years old and in the third grade. She was full of life from her head to her injured toe, and whatever she did, she put her whole heart into it. At the moment, she was concentrating wholeheartedly on her misery. I glanced at Daddy and there was absolutely no doubt that he had had enough. All he did, though, was to bestow on Julie his father's unhappy look which, by the way, could make your blood run cold, and Julie's unnerving whining ceased--for a while anyway.
Daddy prayed a short, rather abrupt prayer and his voice indicated that he had had a hard day at work. My twelve year-old sister, Shelley, informed us all that the food was cold. I noticed that she had not even tasted it yet, and immediately told her so. Mother said that I shouldn't speak with such a tone of voice to my sister and Julie added "Oh, Mother!" (She doesn't like being left out things.) There was a golden silence for awhile, but Daddy feared an argument might start again, so he made an attempt at making five grumpy, grouchy people into five happy kindred spirits. He said, "How about all piling into the car next Friday, hooking up our Nimrod camping trailer, and going to Florida for Christmas vacation?"
Daddy could not have anticipated the following reactions: Julie resumed her pouting with twice the volume of before and the words "Brownie...Christmas...party" could be heard among the noises that sounded like a sick puppy. Shelley accused Julie of always whining, and Mother corrected Shelley for making a personal remark, a term frequently heard in the Schaap household. I let out a disgusted sigh, almost as long as it was loud. I made sure that everyone knew I disapproved of this idea wholeheartedly. Then it really began. Four cloudy faces turned to me and demanded my reasons.
"Do you realize that all we do is travel?" I answered, my voice rising. "In the summer we go camping; during Thanksgiving vacation we visit relatives. I'm sick of all this traveling! Why can't we be normal and stay at home for once!" Daddy looked hurt, and I knew inside of me that I didn't really mean all that I was saying. I knew that I was lucky to have parents that liked to get out and see the country we live in; to do interesting things and go to interesting places. I knew we had a wonderful time on our trips and sometimes regretted coming home. But I felt so angry and tense, I didn't know exactly why, that I had to say those things...and I went on to say more, all the time getting angrier and losing my self-control. Daddy yelled that he had heard all he would from me. He had to yell to be heard above my voice.
I felt tears start to my eyes and they stung. They weren't tears about the possibility of the trip, they were tears of guilt. I knew it must hurt my parents very much to have me be so disrespectful and ungrateful after all they had done for me. It was very painful to realize that I could hurt them so much when I loved them so much. I wanted to leave the table, but I knew that would only make things worse. So I proceeded to eat rapidly while gazing fixedly at the pattern on the china. When I glanced up, I noticed that everyone else was pretending to be concerned with their dishes, and avoiding each other's eyes.
"I have an idea," said Mother after several minutes of busy eating. Everyone's head popped up and the faces looked hopeful. We all seemed anxious for the notes of the song to come back into harmony. "How would you like it if I wrote to the Wests, the Womacks, and Nana, and invited them all to a good old-fashioned Christmas at our house. We've never done that before." Before she had finished speaking, Julie was squealing like a happy, playful puppy. Shelley began telling us exactly what she was going to write in her letter to Jane, her cousin. Daddy and I began congratulating Mother on her idea and asking her if it wasn't going to be too much work for her. "Oh, I'm already looking forward to it," she said. We began making plans for baking Christmas cookies and cakes, and for decorating the house for the gay and colorful season. Daddy told me that he guessed that the trip would have been expensive anyway, and that he was looking forward to a Christmas at home.
Where the meal had started like the Bubonic Plague, it ended like a book with a happy ending. That night as I lay in my bed, mustering up the courage to go and apologize for the childish way I had acted, my father opened the door quietly and looked in to see if I was asleep. When he saw that I wasn't, he crossed the room to my bed and said that he had come to apologize for yelling at me at supper. Who could beat parents like that! I explained with a lump in my throat that grew with every word, that I hadn't meant what I said, and I was sorry. He said he understood and he was sincere. I felt like hiding my head under the covers, I was so ashamed.
Just as I was dozing off to sleep, I heard Julie praying in the next room"...and bless Mommy and Daddy and Shelley and Jeanne. And thank you for our nice family." The End

I must add that I remember well why I did not want to go to Florida for Christmas that year: I had just started dating someone, and that someone practically ruined our lovely family Christmas at home.